When you are used to something for so many years, then definitely, you won’t let it go easily. You have created such a habit that it feels like you will go mad if you lose it. It happens the same with the mind.
The mind is certainly the most important for many and awareness is like a faraway something that is left behind. Awareness should have been the first but it isn’t due to your habits. When you know and understand the mind, then only you can shift to awareness because awareness is the only way for you to live a better life.
Of course, the choice is yours, mind or awareness.
