Marriage had been here since so many years back. At first, there were only traditional marriages and after that civil marriages came. So, both traditional and civil marriages are still happening nowadays.
It had happened so many times in couples that they love each other before marriage but then later on, they discover that marriage isn't for them. Is the same happening to you too? Are you wondering if marriage is right for you or not?
In fact, many things happen in a marriage which didn't happen before marriage. This is why many persons have regrets in having been married. They expected to be living a life full of happiness but forget that marriage is not based on happiness only. There are so many responsibilities that one has to take along with that.
When you fall in love, you have the urge in getting married the soonest possible. It is just because you find out that you can't live without each other. You may know each other for a long time and then you may take the decision to get married too but you must have felt at least once if ever you are ready to get married or not.
Is Marriage Right For You?
So many questions must have come into your mind such as:
Am I taking the right decision of getting married?
Am I ready yet to tie the knot?
Have I chosen the right person to get married to?
Will I be happy with that person forever?
After so many questions, you decide to take advice from the person who is closer to you.
Parents' or Closest Friend's Advice
When you find yourself in a dilemma and don't know what to do and where you are, you prefer to seek advice from either your parents or your closest friend.
If you take advice from your parents, then the advice that they will give you will be totally different from the ones your closed friend. This is because your parents know what marriage really is whereas your closest friend may not have that much experience about marriage.
Yes, you may find your parents' advice to be narrow-minded and your friend's advice to be the right one as he or she is open minded but know that it is not necessary that anyone of them are wrong or right.
Each person has their own point of views as per their own experiences and realizations. Your parents' point of views are right as per their experiences and your friend's point of views too are right as his or her experiences.
But, know that you haven't experienced anything till now because it's going to be your first marriage. So, don't take a decision in a hurry. Know first what marriage is like. Know what marriage brings to you. Is it that which you are dreaming of or is it that which is reality?
Marriage is not something that you can make it successful with just a click. It needs great responsibility for that and hard work too.
Know that you are not only going to marry the one you love but you are also going to marry in order to create a family which is your own family. At first, everything looks great but when more responsibilities come your way, then you find that it is too much for you.
You may want to get married because you want to live happily with the one you love but how will you make your married life a happy one and that also a lasting one?
It's very easy to say that you will have a happy married life when you are not married yet just because the one you have chosen to be your husband or your wife is the one whom you love very much. So, how is it possible that you can't live happily with the one you love so much?
If you consider the love that is there before marriage to be same after marriage, then you are completely wrong. After marriage, everything changes.
These are the changes that you will find in a married life:
- First change is that you are no longer a bachelor.
- Then, you will have to adapt yourself in a new environment.
- You will have to adapt yourself in living with your partner. Here, there are two persons with different point of views and different lifestyles living together.
- More responsibilities are waiting for you. It's not just for your partner but also for your children.
So, the first thing that you must realize is that are you really ready to get married now? In fact, you will have to understand the person with whom you are going to get married to because in order to live together, mutual understanding is very important.
You think that with marriage you expect your partner to bring happiness in your life forever but you forget that you also need to make your partner happy too. It's a give and take relationship. The Law of Karma also applies here.
Now, the person whom you are going to get married to, does he or she understands you?
Marriage is not about only love. It is about mutual understanding. If there is no mutual understanding in a marriage then there won't be love either.
In fact, if you find that you have found the right person to get married to then definitely, your aim must not be to seek for happiness instead it must be to bring happiness in that person's life and also in your family.
If you are ready to help your partner to grow from within along with outer growth, then know that your effort in that will make your marriage a successful one.
But if you expect for the other person to do everything that makes you happy, then it won't work. Yes, at the beginning in a married life, it will work but after some time, there will be problems. Know that life doesn't work as per your expectations only.
The fact is that you have so many expectations and so many wishes that you wish to be fulfilled and if you expect your partner to fulfil them all for you, then you must also know that your partner is not a 'Wish Fulfillment Button'.
Your partner is a human being just like you. What if your partner too want you to fulfil all his or her wishes? Will you be able to do that?
So, it is very easy to expect things from other persons but it is as difficult to fulfil other persons' expectations too.
Know that marriage is not about you only. It is also about your partner and the foundation of a family together. It is also about your children and their upbringing. It is also about all the responsibilities that come after marriage.
How Do You Know If Marriage Is Right For You?
In fact, you can know if marriage is right for you or not.
- It all depends if you are ready to take the responsibilities that come along with marriage.
- It all depends if you are ready to give rather than create expectations.
- It all depends if you are ready to work for mutual understanding.
- It all depends if you are ready to work hard in order to make your married life a successful one.
- It all depends upon how you react when something happens. Will you able to deal with difficult situations? Are you mature enough?
Marriage is same as the quote that says 'It is still under construction'. In fact, marriage is and will always be under construction. You will always find that there is something to do in order to make this relationship stronger because you are not going to deal with only one person rather with the family that you have created.
Marriage needs two strengths in order to build a mansion. These two strengths not only can build a mansion but can also bring clarity to their children's life too.
When these two strengths meet, then an explosion happens which transforms their mutual understanding into Real Freedom. Both husband and wife live in Real Freedom. Here, mutual understanding is no more needed because it has dissolved and gone beyond that.
With this Real Freedom, each of them live life with clarity.
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'Marriage: The Bond Which Can Be Transformed Into Real Freedom'
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